Overcoming Attachment to Embrace Presence

March 15, 2024

Overcoming Attachment to Embrace Presence

Have you ever paused to consider how much of your mental real estate is consumed by attachments? Attachments, those invisible chains that bind us to the past or tether us to an uncertain future, are often the silent saboteurs of our present moments.

Attachment is our way of trying to control uncertainty which let’s face it is impossible in a world where uncertainty is the only certainty.

Attachment gives away our power, our energy and our precious present time to overthinking. 

If you feel attachment is holding you back from the present moment, let me share with you how you can bring yourself back to presence, right now. 

How attachment stops you from being present

So, I’m lying in bed reading the other night and like a lightning bolt it strikes me as I read… "Every attachment is a rebellion against impermanence." in Yung Pueblo’s book Lighter.

So as I sit with this revelation I realise impermanence is life and equally it is a gift for without it flowers would not bloom nor children grow, we would not be disrupted into realising we are capable of so much more than we believe and the list goes on.

The first step to reclaim your power is to realise how much of it you are giving away to attachments shaped by the hurt of the past or their fear of the future.

So, here is my invitation to the brave ones ready to step into radical honesty in the service of healing and growth.

Grab a cup of tea, a pen and paper and sit down with the following question… What am I attached to that holds me back from being present?

I’ve done this myself and with 25 women in my recent Present Woman Challenge and the insights are profound. 

Awareness is the first step to change and this simple question provides a gateway to the shift so many of us seek.

What am I attached to that holds me back from being present?

Here is how I did the exercise. I noted down: 

  • I am attached to the belief that I should do more which holds me back from celebrating how far I have come.
  • I am attached to the belief that I won’t have enough to live in the future which holds me back from being in the now. This is a constant distraction from joy, from creativity, from presence and I despise how I let it consume me.
  • I am attached to returning to a body I had 10 years ago when I was doing triathlons and ½ marathons and training like a machine. This has me holding onto a wardrobe that doesn’t fit and makes me feel shit about my body even though I am very active, fit and healthy for my almost 50 years of age.
  • I am attached to the idea of becoming a Psychologist. I think the credential will add kudos to the work I do, it will attract more clients and more cash. Yet if it doesn’t come off for some unplanned reason I know I won't feel less than because I have learnt and grown so much on this journey.
  • I am attached to being seen as credible as an expert because I believe this is what makes someone good at their job and yet there are so many things I’ve learned and experienced that are not related to a credential that enable me to help myself and others in profound ways.
  • I am attached to my work and my business. It consumes so much real estate in my head as I’m constantly trying to improve my impact. But in my heart, I know if it were all gone tomorrow I could start again and it would all be ok.

The awareness of it all brought me right back to the present moment.  How are your attachments holding you back from being present and realising the freedom you long for in your mind and the meaningful impact you seek in your work? 

Final thoughts 

I challenge you to confront your own attachments with courage and compassion. Sit with the discomfort, the uncertainty, and the vulnerability that arise. And remember, the truth shall set you free.

To reclaim our power and break free from the shackles of attachment, we must first acknowledge their presence. 

I invite you to join me in a moment of radical honesty, try the exercise shared above. 

If you're in need of further inspiration, listen to this week's podcast episode, "The Truth Shall Set You Free”.